The 616 Diaries: Entry 1 by Kevin Kauffmann
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Hey, everyone! My name is Raymond Corvus, though most of my friends and family call me Ray. Probably because my dad is “Big Ray” over at his firm and I never really did anything to get out from under his shadow. Also, my friend Andrew says it’s easier to call me Ray just because it’s one less syllable.

Yeah, he’s kinda a lazy jackass.

Anyway, this blog is something my girlfriend, Renee (Hi Renee!), told me to do; said it would get my creative juices flowing and get me out of my rut. Well, apparently it’s a rut. I think it’s just hard to figure out the difference when your boyfriend is an accountant and he spends all his days and hours and minutes obsessing over numbers and stuff like that. I’m sure it seems boring, hell, I’m certain it seems boring, but numbers have always interested me, made sense to me. There’s no lying in numbers; nothing but the big ole, stark truth of them. The only time there’s ever an issue is because of human error at some point along the way.

But I digress.

I mean, it’s not like numbers is all I think about. I got a pretty healthy obsession with everything geeky. I play video games and *gasp* I even read in this day and age. Like, actual paper books and everything. I know it’s a shocking revelation, especially when everyone I know reads on their phones and tablets, if they read at all. In any case, I was always more interested in mythology and fantasy, I like big beasties and sweeping epics, but I’m not going to say no to Sci-Fi or pretty much anything Joss Whedon has ever done. To say I’m a nerd is an understatement, so it should only make sense that I ended up working with numbers, no matter what my girlfriend says.

But really, my geekiness isn’t what this blog is about, either. This blog is about numbers or, specifically, the coincidences I’m starting to find in the real world. I always played with the numbers on the clock, trying to make sense of them and turn them into an equation. Like, say, the clock said 2:53. I would automatically turn the colon into an equals sign and subtract the 3 from the 5. I do that with everything, and I will admit to slapping the dashboard of my shitty car every time it’s in sequential order, like 3:45 or 12:34.

12:34 gets extra special excitement from me. There might even be applause.

Anyway, that’s just the start. This has been a whole entire preamble into what this blog is actually going to talk about. I know, I’m longwinded and I’m repeating myself, I’m sorry, but I just didn’t know of any way to make a blog about numbers interesting unless I tried to insert some humor into it. It’s not even really my fault that I’m writing all this.

See, a couple weeks ago one of my bosses, Jim Roth (though I have to call him “Mr. Roth” even though we went to school together), he told me about a curious set of numbers. Everybody knows about 666 and how it’s the NUMBER OF THE BEAST and the sign of the Devil, but Jim told me something I didn’t know. Apparently, 666 is a total mistranslation from the Hebrew Bible. Apparently the real number is 616, or as I like to say, Six-One-Six.

Just rolls off the tongue better, honestly. Six Hundred and Sixteen is way too many syllables.

Anyway, when Jim told me about a secret number associated with the Devil, I naturally had to run home and research it immediately. Between my love of numbers and mythology, I really didn’t have any way to resist it.

Turns out that Jim was right. There was this whole debate over what the number really was, and it was supposedly some sort of variation of code about Emperor Nero’s name, but until recently most people just accepted that 666 was the real number. Well, real in that it’s what was handed down, not that it actually has any sort of devilish powers.

That all changed in 2005 with the discovery of some old papyrus, which had 616 featured prominently as the Number of the Beast. Awful inconvenient for the churches when papyrus shows up to mess with their dogma(everybody remembers the Dead Sea Scrolls, right?), but I’m sure they don’t really care too much about which number actually refers to the Devil, since, you know, they’re trying to sell God every Sunday.

So yeah, cool set of numbers, good thing to know on Trivia Night at your local dive bar, but it was essentially just water cooler talk between me and my boss. I’m sure Mr. Roth was just trying to seem interesting; for all his patronizing he definitely tries to be chummy with me, but then I started to remember some things.

I remembered seeing a lot more 616s in my life than any of the other interesting numbers that I would usually get so excited about it.

I put it down to suggestion, random coincidence. I know how fragile human memory is, especially compared to hard facts and numbers, and I probably just wanted it to be true. Renee agrees with me, Andrew humors me and my delusions, my parents… well, I don’t have any reason to talk to them about this stuff. It’s pretty boring from an outsider’s perspective, I don’t imagine anybody but hardcore nerds would want to hear me talk about nefarious numbers, so, well, I’m just not going to tell my parents. Don’t really see the point.

Or at least, I didn’t. Past tense and everything. Since Jim told me about 616, I haven’t just been seeing it a little bit. I definitely haven’t seen it in accordance to probability. At the very base assumption, it has a .1% chance of showing up in a three digit number, .2% of showing up in a four digit number. It’s awful odds if you’re actually looking for it. After that, the bigger the number, the better the chances, but it’s still not good.

So it’s really weird that I’ve seen 616 about thirty times in the last four days. I see it in license plates, phone numbers, receipt numbers, all over my workplace, it’s… it’s insane. I know I work with numbers a lot, I probably spend way more time thinking about them than a normal, sane, rational adult, but the probability of it is totally out of whack. I really wish I had started keeping track before now.

Hell, most of the time I see it, it’s not even at the workplace. It’s when I look at something partially demonic, laugh, look at the clock and it’s 6:16 PM. It’s when I’m driving down the highway and a car with the plate passes into my lane and I get a clear view of SZH-6160. Already shocking, but then another car pulls up next to that one and I see that its plate reads JRM-9666. Then when I’m driving home I pass a Semi that has 616 painted vertically along the trailer.

It can be a coincidence; it should be. Suggestion is powerful, and you’re way more likely to see a number if you think it’s familiar, but… I don’t know. The rational part of me is constantly trying to persuade the rest of my silly, little brain, and I have to trust that, but there’s no harm in keeping track, right? It’s definitely something to do that isn’t video games, and I think Renee approves of that. Andrew jokes around that I might be possessed or something, but even I think that’s just not true.

Well, I hope it’s not true. That would obviously suck. In any case, it’s super interesting, especially to a nerd like me. I already loved numbers, already loved mythology and occult stuff, so, well, why not believe just a little bit? It’ll make the days pass a little faster, make them a little more exciting.

Any hey, this way, Renee won’t be able to say I’m in a rut anymore! I love the girl, but I’m not going to say the nagging doesn’t get to me.

Oh, yeah, she’s probably one of the only three people reading this…

Uh, I’ll make dinner when I get home? I’ll do the dishes, too, or… you know, do something else that requires manly strength or stupidity :)

Anyway, that’s enough for now. I’ll update the blog soon with all kinds of 616 sightings for you guys. Hopefully I won’t seem too crazy next time.

-Ray



End of Entry


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Interested? I know it's a slow start, but as Ray uncovers the demonic undercurrent to his own life, his way of telling the story shifts along with it. If you want to see more, the next entry is hosted on my facebook page.



Or, if you're looking for something more overtly horrific, I have an apocalyptic series just for you. You should probably read that one first, anyway. After all, the first taste is free...