My love, I must accept the fact that I will never lay eyes on you again. It is a hard truth but it is truth. I will never hold you again. Never taste the sweet nectar that is your kiss. Never walk hand in hand with you in our beautiful spring gardens. Never hold you close in moments of outrageous passion. This realization, more than anything else, has brought me to despair. I need you to know my intentions were pure. If you believe nothing else dear heart, believe that. My entire life has been dedicated to this project. This impossible dream. I hoped to make a better world for you. A better world for everyone.
But I totally screwed the pooch on this one darling. Like it’s really, really bad. It didn’t work at all. I really thought opening that dimensional portal would be a good idea. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine freaking monsters would come out. So many monsters. Holy crap.
I can hear them gnawing through the blast doors now. Soon they’ll have me and my life will end in swift and undignified agony. I shall wait for you my dear. Across the river of death in the valley of eternity. I will wait until I can hold you again. If you’ll have me. I fear my wait will be a short one because Ted’s dumb ass left the teleporter turned on. For all I know these foul beasts have already stumbled into it and teleported home. In which case you may already be dead.
In which case… my bad.